I wonder what life would be like if you were the guy who could just simply show up. I wonder what it would feel like to meet expectations and not have me feeling let down every time. I wonder what it would be like to be in your embrace day in and day out without all the games and drama. I wonder if it would ever be possible for you to just be the guy I have always needed you to be.
I am ready for you. I have been ready for you.
But being ready is getting old.
I wonder where our journey would have led us.
The effort from you would have been minimal. I would have done anything for you. But your silence has said more than your words ever could. The message is loud and clear—you didn’t even need to move your lips. The absence you have shown me has cracked my heart in so many ways, but I can mend that on my own.
I don’t need you to be happy, and luckily, I have always known that. That’s the beauty of having your heart broken before—you learn to expect less, and you learn that making yourself happy is probably going to be your only route to happiness, so you better make it happen, otherwise your life will be full of misery.
I don’t need someone, but I am ready for someone to show up for me. I am ready for someone to exceed all my expectations and add to my life in so many ways. I am ready to be free of childish games and drama.
Most importantly, I am ready to feel love.
I never thought I would be ready to give love to someone, but I have worked damn hard on building my heart up. I have worked hard on building my confidence, and I have worked hard making myself smile.
This girl deserves to share her heart with the world again. She deserves to be held, be valued, and be appreciated. She deserves more than you could ever give her.
As sad as it is to be ready to feel these things for someone else, it’s even sadder that after all these years, it couldn’t be you. You’re not the one this girl is going home to. You’re not the one this girl is going to call every night. Yours aren’t the arms she will cuddle into; yours aren’t the lips she will kiss. You’re not the name she will speak.
To her, you are a memory. A lesson. A pill that was hard to swallow.
So in life, the greatest lesson I have learned, and one that seems to always be true, is that you should never hold back on what you want to do for another human being. When you have high expectations for someone, you are bound to be let down. That is just the way it goes.
My advice to you is to follow your heart and chase your dreams. Those who are meant to be in your life will be. Say yes to new experiences, take chances, and be who you need to be. Just please don’t let a boy get in the way of your destiny. When you have found someone who is willing to give just as much to you as you give to them, then make them a priority. Until then, don’t lose sleep, don’t lose time, and definitely don’t miss out on experiences just to please someone who simply couldn’t care enough to show up when you needed them the most.